Home Wisdom Articles Pujya Gurudevshri Pujya Gurudevshri Insights Befriend the Mind to go Beyond

Befriend the Mind to go Beyond

Conquering the mind seems like a Herculean task to most seekers. Pujya Gurudevshri compassionately explains that the mind is not an enemy to be triumphed over. An easy way to win the mind is to befriend it

He alone is truly successful who has become victorious over his self. You may win over the whole world but if you have no control over your own self, you are defeated. There will always be a sad, dark corner within, that can never be removed without winning over one’s self. This part cannot be buried under the noise of external triumph. All these outer victories are in vain and the accomplishments are null and void with the realisation of this painful area.

How long can you remain under the illusion of victory? In acquiring everything, you lose yourself. In the madness of earning more, you lose out on your true self. Even if you possess it all; all of it put together cannot give you what lies hidden in the Self. There is no wealth greater than the Self, because in its attainment lies the attainment of all, and to lose it is to lose the whole. The Self is the only real treasure, for it is your true being. Without realising it, you are nothing.

Know Thyself

It may appear paradoxical, but it is a fact that man’s external powers have increased, but his inner strength has decreased. He has made progress in the material world, but his advancement towards the Self has stopped. He is so occupied in perceiving the world through his 5 senses that he fails to recognise the knower – the Self. He is like the mud lamp that spreads light around it, but darkness prevails at its base. He may extend his powers beyond the horizons and yet he will lack vitality as long as he has not realised the Consciousness that he essentially is. The real dynamism unfolds only after its attainment.

He who has not realised the Self is only dreaming of having attained something. All his achievements are mere dreams. When the dreams shatter, he will realise that there is no end to his suffering. The attainment of real wealth begins with self-realisation. This is the dawn of spiritual awakening. Only then can one wake up from the nightmare, which is mistaken as life by the ignorant.

Win the Mind with the Right Process

No one has been successful till now in gaining bliss from the external world. Bliss is attained only by inner victory. On looking within, you will see that you have only been defeated. You have no control over even the slightest anger. The fire of passion is set ablaze and you end up burning in it. You are unable to quieten the flames of ego that arise. None of your inclinations are under your control. Instead, they are controlling you. Swayed by your passions, you live like a machine. A slave to the mind, you find yourself exhausted, run-down and a loser. You will not find fulfilment even at the end of your life and your precious human birth will pass by in vain.

The first step to winning the mind is to conquer passions. After winning over the attacks of inclinations within alone can you say that you are the master of your mind. Unaware of the right method to win the mind, you get dragged in the flow of passions again and again. This conflict goes on all your life. You will inevitably need a process, a right way to become victorious. Only then will you be able to reach somewhere, and attain something or else in the name of dharma you will breed adharma alone.

Win the mind with love. Befriend it. Religion shows us how to win the mind. It is a wrong belief that winning the mind is to fight with the mind. Can you really win someone by defeating him? Winning and defeating are two different things. By defeating an enemy, you repress him, break him down, but with this, enmity does not go away; instead, it remains forever. From this point of view the enemy remains ever undefeated. He can never accept your victory over him from within. Therefore, it is said that the enemies have remained unconquered till date. Only friends can be won over. By befriending, enmity can be destroyed.

Friendliness is Essential for Inner Victory

The outer enemies are other than you but passions are none other than your own misused energies dissipated in different directions. You do not have to fight with them, destroy them, defeat them or conquer them. You only need to transform them. Destroying passions will only destroy you. Their transformation will begin a new life. Just as manure itself turns into flowers and fragrance, the energy that you had mistaken to be your enemy due to ignorance becomes the cause for a divine life. In that sense, dharma is not annihilating inclinations but winning them.

The first principle in winning the inclinations is – befriend them. He who can befriend them alone can become a winner. Generally, the notion regarding dharma spread in the society is absolutely contradictory to this. People believe that opposing the inclinations can control them. But this is not true. The possibility of victory lies in being amicable and not hostile. By being hostile to the mind, thoughts, inclinations, or thoughtlessly destroying the sense organs, there is a possibility of deluding oneself of having won the inclinations. You may feel a bit better by suppressing the mind but suddenly the thoughts will spring up and create excessive damage.

Familiarise Yourself with the Thoughts

He who knows this truth does not create hostility or conflict within. What is the point of fighting against one’s own energies? By this, you will dissipate your own energy. It is an issue of direction and not power. Therefore, change the direction. You waste your energy by indulging in sensory pleasures as well as by suppressing the instincts. There is a third option, and that is to simply observe, in the right way.

Every person has an unconquered field of energy. Ordinarily, blind to this you become a mere instrument at its disposal. You become indiscriminate. Either you heedlessly become one with the passions or start fighting with them. Both extremes are erroneous. In either case, your relation with passions remains intact. Therefore, work to befriend and not be an enemy to your mind.

The aspirant should befriend all the expressions of his mind. Become familiar with them in every way. Do not fight with them; create a friendly relation. In other words, love them. In the radiance of love alone does the mind reveal all its secrets and allow you to enter it.

Introspection with Love

Love alone gives entry, not hostility. The doors will remain shut by being an enemy. On a door with ‘pull’ written on it, if you keep pushing, how will it open? In the same way, the thoughts have ‘pull’ written on them. Pulling them towards you is like going closer to a friend. Do not fear them. Do not even criticise them. Only love them. Love creates such an environment within that it gives birth to introspection. It is on the land of love, that the seed of introspection can sprout. And love itself becomes water and manure for it.

It is very essential to have a state of inner harmony for introspection. Those who try to begin introspection with opposition, suppression or hostility fail to do so.

Come nearer to your thoughts. Stay with them. Know them completely. Know the mind along with all its force and passions. It is necessary to understand all of its states. For that, be absent while being present. That is, do nothing but know everything. Leave out no corner unknown. Passions and instincts seem unfriendly to you and so you remain unaware of them. Such a dark corner creates ugliness in your being. Therefore, illuminate every corner of your mind with the light of introspection. When the awareness becomes completely conscious of the passions, those passions retire. In the light of awareness, the smoke of passions disappears and what remains is the bright and steady flame of discrimination.


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#SadguruWhispers The disciple loves the Guru,seeing His spiritual height. The Guru loves the disciple, seeing his yearning for it.