Cruising in His Shelter

Guiding me to a Higher Purpose

His unfathomable wisdom guided me for a higher purpose. To make the most of my leadership year, I had quit my job. I would try to be with Him as much as I could. His slightest glimpse was fuel for me, it was my driving force. One day, He sent prasad for me and a very important message, “What are your plans? Time is passing by, and if you do not decide now, then one fine morning you will find yourself in the wedding mandap.” This incident started a churning within. I wrote a letter to Him and He asked me to meet Him. He explained and gave me tips and an exercise for selecting an appropriate career first. At that time, I just asked Him out of the blue, “Why do all this exercise, can I try to be an Atmarpit?” He gave me look implying – what are you talking about? I concluded that Atmarpit life was not meant for me and never gave it a second thought. Then, on one occasion, He said, “I want to give you so much, but you don’t come up.” I started contemplating, what does He mean by I do not come “up”. I realised that I needed to come up in my spiritual level.

All this while, I was without a job and would go to Dharampur just to be with Him. Once, He asked me, “Don’t you have to earn money? If you wish to live like this, then why don’t you join Atmarpit training?” That was it, I immediately grabbed the opportunity, joined the training and there was no looking back. Earlier in 2004, during my first trip to the United Kingdom with Him, He had told me that I may go wherever I want, but at the end, I shall have to come back to Him. At that time it was just a passing comment for me, but during the training period when I reflected, I realised that if at the end I have to come back, then why waste time unnecessarily. I was now very clear about what I wanted. And on September 26, 2010, He graced me with Atmarpit Diksha. He brought me one more step closer to Him.

His passion for my progress is such that He not only instructs and inspires but also inspects. So after few months, there was a surprise inspection by Him as to how much swadhyay did we complete. I was the one with the least done. And for the first time I experienced His love in a different form with the highest degree where I was isolated from everyone and everything, even His darshan. I was shaken from top to bottom. But gradually, on introspecting, I realised that I needed to be highly disciplined and sincere in following His ajna. I remembered His words in a meeting just before my diksha, “Initially, for first few months, you will have to struggle a lot, but later it will be very easy. Are you ready for that struggle?” And I had happily replied, “Yes!”

During this period, Atmarpits had been to Ladakh for what turned out to be one of the best Atmarpit Retreats and I was the only one who missed it. I had paid an expensive price to learn an important lesson. I gained the importance of following His ajna, discipline, sincerity, regularity which was injected right into my blood veins, deep-rooted in my beliefs.